Week 4

Week 4

This week started off strong. I'm totally used to my crutches and can't even imagine being without them. I took a few days "off" from my usual Peanut Butter-and-TV-Shows-In-Bed routine and went to my parents house for a change of pace. It was AMAZING. I got to hang out with our dog, eat unbelievably delicious food every day, breakfast in bed, and Reiki sessions. Plus, I got the chance to sunbathe my bare foot. AMAZING! Sunlight is actually considered an antibacterial, and does heal! It was glorious. My cuts are healing a little bit more. I was able to soak my foot in warm salt water infused with lavender essential oil (antiseptic) My foot didn't explode this time, and it was SO amazingly relaxing. After it was dried and rewrapped, it felt like a brand new foot. The boot still destroys my ankle at night, but during the day is pretty much painless. I have noticed that the main culprit of my pain is the positioning of my ace bandage. One end of the bandage has a thick velcro strip, and the other end is hard too, depending on where those edges are positioned against my foot- means the difference between relaxation and a world of shit. It has to be wrapped *just right* even a speck too tight and it throws everything off.

I made what felt like a BOLD move this week, and I ventured out on my Crutches for the first time, and went to see Sam Smith!! I've been listening to his music non-stop since my injury, so this was absolutely perfect-timing. Thank You Universe! Any earlier in my recovery and I wouldn't have been able to pull it off. I was nervous, but called the venue ahead of time to make sure a handicap seat was reserved. They escorted me in through a private entrance, and I was able to sit in a fold-up chair in the front row of the Mezzanine. The venue is tiny, so I had perfect view. The performance moved me to tears and I forgot all about my foot. hehe :)

This week caps off with a 4-week follow up appointment. I go in optimistic and leave completely deflated. Overall, I have been very worried about my foot not healing correctly and having a weird feeling that I should have gone to a different surgeon. Everyone around me says this doubt is normal, and I'm just in a temporary state of limbo. My follow-up does nothing to assure of me this though. It is a quick 10-minute appointment where my boot is removed, and I am told "You can start walking now, it should be healed." The thought seems impossible and completely insane. I ask about Physical Therapy, something I have been SO excited to begin. They say "Ehhh, There's no need, but if you really want it we can arrange it."

Um... pardon? Yes, please arrange that.

I insist on at least 3 sessions per week. The doctor's then slap a compression stocking over my raw, exposed wound without a bandage (ouch) and start to walk out of the room while I am in mid-sentence asking questions. I'm literally calling out questions from the table as they keep trying to head out of the door. They gave me no guidance, and I had to ask all of the questions:

Are you SURE 4 weeks isn't too soon? Shouldn't I be non-weight bearing for 6 weeks? (No, 4 weeks is plenty. The longer you baby the foot, the more difficult it will be to get it's proper function back) aka "use it or lose it"
My toe and stop of foot are still completely numb. Is that a problem? (Oh, they are? Hm, well I guess that makes sense. That will probably go away in a few months)
Should I be icing it? (No)
Should I continue elevating it? (No)
Should I take advil regularly? (Maybe)
If you're telling me I can walk-- would I be cleared to work an event in 3 weeks that requires standing all day? (Probably not, you should take it easy.)

"Okay, great, see you in a month."

I completely break down after this appointment. I totally understand that these Doctors are exhausted, overworked, and have to be concise at their appointments. But, I feel totally thrown off by this. I am terrified to re-injure my tendon, and I express that, yet am given no suggestions of how to begin walking/distributing weight, no stretching exercises. Literally zero. I revisit the thought that maybe this hospital was the wrong choice, but force myself to accept that it's already been done, and not to jump to conclusions. They did their job, and now the work of recovery is in my hands.