Week 3

Week 3

This has been a slooow week, but my foot feels stronger and slightly more durable. It doesn't feel like it's going to detach, hit the floor, and burst into flames the instant my boot comes off. However, the ankle and foot muscles are completely useless and unable to support their own weight, so it needs to be guided to and fro. This week's    * m i l e s t o n e  *   is taking my first proper bath. This is a good thing because my foot smells like a trash can. I prepare a bubble bath for us. Placing it into hot water makes it immediately swell to double the size, so my fantasia of a luxury foot soak is postponed until further notice. I blast it with cool water from my hand-held shower head--which massages it perfectly and is the most invigorating sensation after weeks of imprisonment. My foot is very excited to be stimulated and responds with a rush of circulation to the area, not unlike a boner. My big toe is still so fragile I can't even consider washing it with a sponge loofah thing--and only some areas can tolerate my hand brushing over it with suds. The whole top of my foot is still raw too, but I think the water will have a healing effect. After my tepid, 10-minute spa getaway, it's time for me to get back to waiting out my sentence on the couch with my foot raised to the heavens in penitence. I hug the side of the bathtub and with splendid elegance, roll my sopping wet ass over the edge into a heap on the floor.

Week 2

Week 2

The wound on my leg is healed now! The stitch line isn't as thin as I expected. It's dark magenta and annoying, but I start applying Mederma Gel to it daily. This stuff is awesome. I've never tried the cream, and have no interest. The gel forms a thin shield over the area, and remains there until it's washed off. After just 3 days of twice-daily application, I can see a change in appearance.

These are the supplements I'm taking to hopefully help speed up my recovery:

If I could only choose 1, it would be the Cissus Quadralangus. I have read SO much positive feedback from people who have taken this supplement and LOVE it. It greatly amplifies your body's collagen production, which is what tendons are made of. That's what the French call a Nofuckingbrainer.

I had my 2-week Follow Up Appointment at the end of this week! Time is creeping by, but it feels good to have that under my belt. I was not given much direction, other than to remain non-weight bearing and to take it easy. I am taken out of my splint/soft cast, and put into a short ankle walking boot/air cast. My foot rejects it pretty quickly, but I don't really have a choice, so I wear it at all times. The pressure of the boot aggravates my foot the most at night when I'm sleeping, and it actually digs into my ankle and breaks the skin. It feels like it doesn't fit properly and I have an almost-impossible time keeping my heel placed correctly in the back of the boot. I'm constantly adjusting it, and this makes me paranoid and anxious that my foot isn't at the optimum 90* angle and may compromise my recovery. It's 2014, is it not? How can it be, that this plastic chamber of doom is my best option? I ponder this by candlelight and as I draft intricate blueprints of an immaculate golden boot.

Week 4

Week 4

This week started off strong. I'm totally used to my crutches and can't even imagine being without them. I took a few days "off" from my usual Peanut Butter-and-TV-Shows-In-Bed routine and went to my parents house for a change of pace. It was AMAZING. I got to hang out with our dog, eat unbelievably delicious food every day, breakfast in bed, and Reiki sessions. Plus, I got the chance to sunbathe my bare foot. AMAZING! Sunlight is actually considered an antibacterial, and does heal! It was glorious. My cuts are healing a little bit more. I was able to soak my foot in warm salt water infused with lavender essential oil (antiseptic) My foot didn't explode this time, and it was SO amazingly relaxing. After it was dried and rewrapped, it felt like a brand new foot. The boot still destroys my ankle at night, but during the day is pretty much painless. I have noticed that the main culprit of my pain is the positioning of my ace bandage. One end of the bandage has a thick velcro strip, and the other end is hard too, depending on where those edges are positioned against my foot- means the difference between relaxation and a world of shit. It has to be wrapped *just right* even a speck too tight and it throws everything off.

I made what felt like a BOLD move this week, and I ventured out on my Crutches for the first time, and went to see Sam Smith!! I've been listening to his music non-stop since my injury, so this was absolutely perfect-timing. Thank You Universe! Any earlier in my recovery and I wouldn't have been able to pull it off. I was nervous, but called the venue ahead of time to make sure a handicap seat was reserved. They escorted me in through a private entrance, and I was able to sit in a fold-up chair in the front row of the Mezzanine. The venue is tiny, so I had perfect view. The performance moved me to tears and I forgot all about my foot. hehe :)

This week caps off with a 4-week follow up appointment. I go in optimistic and leave completely deflated. Overall, I have been very worried about my foot not healing correctly and having a weird feeling that I should have gone to a different surgeon. Everyone around me says this doubt is normal, and I'm just in a temporary state of limbo. My follow-up does nothing to assure of me this though. It is a quick 10-minute appointment where my boot is removed, and I am told "You can start walking now, it should be healed." The thought seems impossible and completely insane. I ask about Physical Therapy, something I have been SO excited to begin. They say "Ehhh, There's no need, but if you really want it we can arrange it."

Um... pardon? Yes, please arrange that.

I insist on at least 3 sessions per week. The doctor's then slap a compression stocking over my raw, exposed wound without a bandage (ouch) and start to walk out of the room while I am in mid-sentence asking questions. I'm literally calling out questions from the table as they keep trying to head out of the door. They gave me no guidance, and I had to ask all of the questions:

Are you SURE 4 weeks isn't too soon? Shouldn't I be non-weight bearing for 6 weeks? (No, 4 weeks is plenty. The longer you baby the foot, the more difficult it will be to get it's proper function back) aka "use it or lose it"
My toe and stop of foot are still completely numb. Is that a problem? (Oh, they are? Hm, well I guess that makes sense. That will probably go away in a few months)
Should I be icing it? (No)
Should I continue elevating it? (No)
Should I take advil regularly? (Maybe)
If you're telling me I can walk-- would I be cleared to work an event in 3 weeks that requires standing all day? (Probably not, you should take it easy.)

"Okay, great, see you in a month."

I completely break down after this appointment. I totally understand that these Doctors are exhausted, overworked, and have to be concise at their appointments. But, I feel totally thrown off by this. I am terrified to re-injure my tendon, and I express that, yet am given no suggestions of how to begin walking/distributing weight, no stretching exercises. Literally zero. I revisit the thought that maybe this hospital was the wrong choice, but force myself to accept that it's already been done, and not to jump to conclusions. They did their job, and now the work of recovery is in my hands.

Physical Therapy: It Starts

Physical Therapy time is now! I choose a convenient place close by with a lot of positive "Yelp" reviews. Day 1 starts with me on crutches, on my boot. My PT massages my bare foot with lotion and moves the toe around. The massage is incredible. I am given a few basic stretches to start which require 100% effort and focus. My foot is so weak it can barely perform.

Calf stretch
Dorsiflexion up and down
Ankle circles both ways
Ankle dorsiflex side to side
Toe stretches back and forth (Gently)

My PT says the only chance of re-rupturing the tendon would be to crank the big toe down to quick and forcefully. I can barely move it to stretch down, and it basically cannot curl down. I can manually stretch the toe towards my shin, but it doesn't flex at all on it's own. The toe is extremely stiff. It's really nerve-wracking, but I realize I have only just begun!

Week 1

Week 1

I have replaced walking with painkillers and peanut butter.  The extra lard consumption should pair nicely with my atrophying muscles. My foot is still extremely uncomfortable, and the residual tenderness from surgery and being stuffed in the boot lasts all week. It feels weak and sad. I also have extreme numbness in ALL of my toes. I can feel the tips of them, but if I touch the top of them- I feel nothing at all.

Not being able to work absolutely sucks, but I'm extremely lucky to be self-employed with no major commitments. I can afford to be completely still and just WAIT it out, as mind-numbingly boring as it is. To be honest though, I would tell any job/school/whatever to politely eff-off anyway. Nothing is worth compromising a successful recovery!

I have to take my painkillers every 4 hours, even in the middle of the night. I can't get through the night without waking up in searing pain anytime my foot flexes in my active dream state. I want to stay in dreamland until this is all over but I continue to be interrupted by Mr. Toe, demanding midnight snacks of opiates and orange juice.

Sleeping flat on my back is the only option, and I have developed an aggressive cowlick in my hair which, to the untrained eye, looks like enormous bald spot.

Something I am extremely grateful for is my single-floor apartment. I have no stairs to climb, and I have an amazing roommate (Jeffy-Poo) who brings me food and helps me relocate pillows around the apartment.. a task which has recently soared to the top of my priority list. I rarely have to maneuver around, and that's a good thing. One of my few attempts to feed myself in the kitchen resulted in a paper carton of Orange Juice dropping onto my cast. I punished the rogue carton by drinking all of its juice, crushing it in my hands and throwing it to the floor in disgust. I then crutched myself back to bed and wept for us both.

Cookie Monster

3/6

A very kind friend brought me some delicious THC edibles to ease my recovery woes. (Sorry if this offends anyone- but THC is a majorly effective pain-reliever and improves circulation significantly-- precisely what I need right now!) Anyway, they were the most immaculate melt-in-your-mouth sugar cookies I have ever tasted. A single bite would certainly have sufficed but I dominated the entire cookie.


45 minutes later and I am soaring the cosmos with my toe riding shotgun, buckled up tight as we blast off into unfathomable dimensions of self-awareness. I am immediately dialed into an amazing sensation: electrical currents rapid-firing through my whole length of my toe. This impulse is something that is usually induced during Physical Therapy with an electrode-gun-thing. It stimulates the nerves with little shockwaves of electricity to help to restore communication with the toe, and basically wake it up. I am thrilled to be experiencing this naturally and eventually fall into a deep, restful sleep with an enormous cookie-eating grin on my face :-D

Post-Surgery: "The Morning After"

3/1/14

Over 24 hours later:

The local anesthetic from surgery has finally worn off, and Heeeyyy, wait-- why does it feel like my foot doth exploded? Without any exaggeration, it feels like my foot, ankle, and heel are broken. I assume that's not normal, considering these areas have nothing to do with the area that was operated on. I try to tough it out, but the Percocet I was prescribed is doing absolutely nothing.

I shuffle back to the ER for assessment. I dry heave several times into an empty trashcan  while I wait, and The Podiatrist who is on-call, says that my foot was perhaps "over-wrapped", and "too snug" within the boot.

I dry heave once more.

He unwraps my entire foot. It feels extremely fragile and vulnerable. Even the stagnant hospital air feels too windy. Feeling this exposed makes me extremely nervous! He asks me to wiggle it. It doesn't budge. The power I felt emerging from surgery is out the window, and I feel completely discouraged. Ugh, I immediately want my swaddle my poor footsie and sing to it the softest of lullabies!

Shockingly, there is still barely any visible swelling in the foot. Although it feels crushed, and is extremely sensitive to the slightest graze of a touch. I am re-wrapped with approximately 50% LESS bandaging, and am put into a basic splint, just like the pre-surgery splint. The relief is instantaneous! I am pissed that foot had to endure this "speed bump", but HAPPY that it's over. I can't wait to hurry home to my pillow kingdom.

Despite feeling this way, I think my toe looks very regal, and resolute in it's disposition.. no? The markings on it are just ink from being marked before surgery. The only stitches/incisions are on the actual foot.

On a side note-- I wonder if the location of an EHL laceration has any effect on it's recovery. For example: cut at the knuckle/joint of the toe VS. mid foot. Hmm. I must remember to ask this next time.